Doing This With a Partner

Working through this with a friend for accountability raises the odds you both finish, and a trusted outside view fixes the one flaw of solo introspection: you’re a biased witness to yourself. But pairs can also make the result worse if you do it wrong. This page is the protocol that keeps it working.

The one rule that matters most

Write solo first. Compare after.

If you fill the prompts out together, you’ll quietly converge — each of you drifting toward answers the other would approve of (social desirability), instead of toward what’s true for you. Your two compasses should look nothing alike when you’re done.

So the rhythm is always: write the day alone → then meet to share and pressure-test. The accountability is for showing up and finishing, not for co-authoring each other’s answers.

Where your partner is most valuable

Use each other hardest at the moments you’re most likely to flatter yourself:

The disconfirmation passes (Day 2 step 3, Day 4) — “You say you value X, but I’ve watched you choose Y every time it cost you.” You can’t do this to yourself well.
The conflict test (Day 2) — does your stated value ranking match how you actually decided in situations your partner witnessed?
The purpose intersection (Day 4) — an honest reality check on a flattering self-story.

The norm: ask honest questions, don’t judge or fix. Push, don’t preach. A too-agreeable partner just validates everything (useless); a too-critical one makes you defensive (also useless).

You’re also each other’s outside input — the lowest-friction 360 there is. Swap the two questions before you start:

“When have you seen me most alive or most myself?”
“What are you genuinely good at — or see clearly — that you might not notice in yourself?”

Agree on these before Day 1

The sharing contract. Some prompts are intimate — the low points (Day 1), the eulogy test (Day 4). Decide up front what’s shareable vs. private. “I did the work” is a complete check-in; you don’t owe each other the raw contents.
The cadence. Pick a standing weekly slot — “I’ll do Day 1 this week, so will you” — and a recurring end-of-week check-in. A “day” a week is a great pace (the five days run ~5 weeks); over that span the enemy is drift, not difficulty, so a fixed day/time beats “sometime this week.” Keep each day a single sitting, and re-read last week’s notes before the next. A quick “did you do it?” is a complete check-in.
The fallback. What happens if one of you slips, so a single missed day doesn’t sink both of you.
Day 0 lead time. Both do the data pull and exchange the two questions above a few days early.

One mindset note

This isn’t a competition, and your compasses should diverge. If comparison creeps in (“his purpose sounds more impressive”), that’s noise — name it and drop it. The only person your compass has to fit is you.